


Three's a Crowd

by tsukeishima



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, M/M, bokuroo messing around and being their usual self, pls save akaashi and kenma, thats not how dating works guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 04:50:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5078458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsukeishima/pseuds/tsukeishima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“She said, we weren’t going on dates a lot.”<br/>“But you just went to the aquarium last week, right? The three of us even had pictures taken together with the dolphins. Aaaah, that was fun.”<br/>Kuroo nodded vigorously at this. “I know right! I really don’t know why she’d say that." </p>
<p>Kuroo complains about his string of heartbreaks to Bokuto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's a Crowd

It was a perfectly sunny day, clear skies and no chance at all of the heat abating anytime soon. Boys at the peak of their youth can be seen exerting all their efforts and strength into training, making use of the weeklong camp to further hone their abilities. Sweat was being perspired in copious amounts, numerous bottles refilled with water and energy drinks by dutiful managers, and coaches oversee their young charges attentively. All in all, a normal summer day for the volleyball players.

            “Hey, Kenma!” Hinata slid next to Nekoma’s setter, who was busy playing something. Placing his heaping tray of food on the table, he energetically said his thanks and dug into his meal as the cafeteria started to fill up with tired players for lunch.

            Kenma, who had little to no appetite most of the time and was finished eating at record speed (games are not meant to be kept waiting), was again distracted by Hinata’s loud chatter. It seemed like he had asked a question.

            “What is it, Shoyou?” he asked, setting aside his PSP and praying that whatever it is that the other boy wanted to ask can be answered in the shortest way possible.

            Hinata swallowed a mouthful of rice before proceeding. “What’s up with Kuroo-san? He doesn’t seem to be his usual, uh-”

            “-sneaky self?”

            “Ah, yes that! He actually looks kinda gloomy.”

            Kenma wondered if the others had noticed too or if Shouyo was actually more aware than he thought. “He broke up with his girlfriend yesterday.”

            Hinata almost choked on his bite of katsudon. “Waaaaah! A girlfriend?! I didn’t expect that.”

            “….Why not?”

            “Um, well, you see…”

            “It’s alright, Shouyo.” Kenma patted him in an uncharacteristic show of support. “I also feel the same.”

            Ignoring Hinata’s blank stare, he decided to volunteer information. “It’s not the first time, although it’s always a surprise when he walks home with a new girl every other time. How he does it is a mystery.”

            “Whaddya mean?”

            “I mean, his overall stats shouldn’t be high enough to actually unlock a confession ending. His physical stats are naturally high, but if we look at his charm or style stats he’s really _lacking._ And if we add his other parameters he’ll probably come out as average at most.”

“I didn’t really get what you just said but Kenma, you can actually be kinda mean, huh?”

            “I was just telling the truth. Besides, even if he were somehow on top tier level, he’d still have trouble keeping girlfriends.”

            “Huh?”

            “Kuroo’s an idiot.”

 

 

           

            On a table at the very back of the cafeteria was the very object of discussion between Kenma and Hinata. Kuroo slumped dismally, picking at his food. Moments later Bokuto arrived, Akaashi following after him. With Bokuto taking the seat beside Nekoma’s captain, Akaashi slid into the seat opposite them.

            “What’s up, Kuroo? You sick? You gonna eat that?” Bokuto asked rapid-fire, reaching out with his chopsticks towards Kuroo’s ricebowl.

            “Don’t just steal other people’s food.” Kuroo scolded, tapping the guilty party’s fingers with his chopsticks.

            Bokuto went and snatched the piece of meat anyway, gobbling it up before Kuroo could protest. “Soooooooooo..”

            “What.”

            “Why are you sulking? Did your girlfriend dump you?” Bokuto burst into laughter at that, Akaashi shaking his head at his captain’s antics.

            At Kuroo’s expression, which significantly darkened, Bokuto stopped laughing and slid closer than it was appropriate. “Eh???? She did?!”

            A small sniffle then a choked back sob was heard as Kuroo grabbed Bokuto by the lapels of his jacket and shook him, all the while crying out things like ‘Why?!’ and ‘I even told her she was pretty!’ Bokuto took this into stride and wrapped an arm around his fellow captain’s shoulder, murmuring things that wouldn’t have comforted anyone going through a break-up.

            When Kuroo had finally calmed down (his outburst promptly ignored by everyone in the vicinity) Bokuto placed a plate of meat in front of his grieving friend, (said plate of meat was snatched away from a passing Konoha, who ran away grumbling about useless captains). After both of them had consumed more than half of their meal, moping about lost love and comforting the heartbroken being hard jobs and should be done on a full stomach, Bokuto started with the questions once more.

            “So, why did you break up? Wait, did you dump her or she dumped you? She dumped you, right?”

            Kuroo glared at his Fukurodani counterpart. “Please have pity on my broken and crushed heart.”

            “I was just asking!” Bokuto defended. “So, why?”

            “She said, we weren’t going on dates a lot.”

            “But you just went to the aquarium last week, right? The three of us even had pictures taken together with the dolphins. Aaaah, that was fun.”

            Kuroo nodded vigorously at this. “I know right! I really don’t know why she’d say that. I even bought those cute dophin cellphone straps she said she liked. One for her, one for me,”

            -and one for me!” Bokuto yelled, waving his cellphone around where sure enough a tiny blue dolphin was attached.

            “She also said that I don’t text her often,” Kuroo continued “Even simple goodnight texts and stuff.”

            “That’s not true, man. I even helped you add those cute emojis and we signed it both at the end.”

            Across from them, Akaashi could feel his soul leave his mortal body.

            Kuroo, who was deflating by the second, was now practically dead. “And she said, I WAS CHEATING ON HER!”

            “WHAT?!” Bokuto matched Kuroo’s intensity. “But you were so faithful to her and you ignored all those other girls, right? Even if there were only two.”

            “I don’t know anymore, Bokuto. Maybe I’m not cut out for love.” Kuroo wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. “I am destined to wander this earth alone.”

            After this solemn proclamation of his friend’s near-likely bachelorhood, Bokuto knew that he’s the only he can depend on right now. Clasping Kuroo’s hand tightly, he looked straight into his eyes.

            “You may think you’re set to be alone forever, Kuroo but remember that I’m always here for you.” He said seriously. “Always.” (for emphasis, because Kuroo needs it.)

            “Bokuto.”

            “Kuroo.”

            Before the two could explode into disgustingly endearing announcements of their unbreakable friendship and the complexity of men’s bonds, Akaashi hightailed away from the table and sat down with more sensible people.

            Hinata, who had overheard everything, was deeply moved. “That level of maturity is too high! Hey, Kenma do you think I’d be able to experience that kind of romance too?”

            Kenma stared at him. “You and that Kageyama guy?”

            “What? Why would you even bring Kageyama up?”

            “..Nevermind.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was kinda inspired by real people, specifically some friends of mine who're really close. So close that even after one of them got a girlfriend they'd still hang out, the three of them together. needless to say, they broke up right after. the one with the girlfriend i mean.


End file.
